


Cruel World

by Kuri



Series: Cruel World [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 20:08:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuri/pseuds/Kuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin Smith is not a good man.</p><p>But Levi is broken that way, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cruel World

**Author's Note:**

> Partially inspired by a prompt on the kink meme, http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2848.html?thread=4647200. The rest is just me and my love of writing sick, twisted darkfic.

Levi used to hate Erwin.

Levi still remembers the day they caught him, Erwin and Mike and the rest of their squad; Levi’s arms forced behind his back and cool steel cuffs encircling his wrists, the heavy grip of strong, unyielding hands on his shoulders to hold him down, the knees of his pants scuffing in the dirt. He remembers how angry he was, furious at himself that he’d been careless enough that they’d managed to catch him, even more furious still at Erwin, the goddamn bastard who just stood there dispassionately looking down at him, completely unaffected by Levi’s struggling or cursing, the deeply calculative look on his eyes as he coldly, patiently waited for Levi to give in to him.

He still remembers Mike’s hand twisting harshly in his hair, no warning given before shoving him face down into the mud and dirt, with just enough force to intimidate and hurt and bruise; they had no intention of actually injuring him, of course. Because they needed him, _wanted_ him alive. Mike was apologetic afterwards, but Levi shrugged it off because he’d already known it by then, that it all came down to Erwin.

Erwin, Erwin, Erwin.

The very moment Levi resentfully gave Erwin his name, he knew. Erwin had already known his name all along, had been watching him, had singled him out from his gang for this; it was just Erwin’s way of asserting his power and control over him.  

And in that very moment, too, Levi knows that Erwin is far stronger, far more powerful that anyone he’s ever encountered. 

And so he gives in to Erwin’s will, and allows Erwin to use him as he wants.                  

 

 

Levi knows how to read people, how to anticipate their next moves, just by reading the thousands of tiny cues in their body language, a flicker of their eyes a quick twitch of their lips. He knows when and precisely how far he can go when goading his opponents into an attack, and then if they’re truly going to attack him or if they’re just cowards snarling empty threats in false bravado.

When Levi presses his blade to Erwin’s neck, the sharp gleaming line of metal not quite cutting in but merely resting against his skin in an almost gentle touch, he’s consumed by a burning fury and torn apart with grief, and it’s a great effort to keep his arm steady, to stop himself from shaking.

“I’m going to kill you,” Levi whispers, almost convinced that he means it this time.

Erwin closes his eyes, his entire body visibly relaxing and he places his hands together in his lap in a gesture of submission, right hand resting over the left.

“Do it,” Erwin says. “I wronged you, Levi. I’m sorry, I truly am.”

Levi’s hand trembles, and the blade _nearly_ slices into Erwin’s skin then, but his grip slackens and he drops his blade, letting it clatter noisily to the ground. Because he knows he cannot bring himself to kill Erwin, no matter how much he hates him.

And Levi also knows that Erwin knows it too, that Levi could never do anything to harm him. Again, it’s Erwin’s subtle way of asserting his dominance, to shake Levi into the revelation that Erwin will always be a step ahead of him.

Erwin’s had him in the palm of his hand all along, like a puppet helplessly dancing on invisible strings.

 

 

Erwin is not just a strong, powerful man, but he is also a man with great ambition and drive. Levi knows that Erwin will stop at nothing to see to it that humanity will one day declare victory over the titans, even if it means he has to cause a thousand deaths in the process. He supposes he’s just another one of Erwin’s many projects, a soldier groomed and trained to be the perfect killing machine until Erwin decides that Levi is no longer useful and sends him to his death.

He _should_ be afraid. He should be, but he isn’t.

If anything, it sends a flare of heat through him, a strange thrill whenever he watches Erwin at work. Whether he’s cunningly manipulating the Courts to allocate the Scouting Legion the extra funding they need, or personally supervising the soldiers’ training sessions, Levi stays close to his side. He watches, he listens and he learns, determined to prove that he’s not just a simple Underground thug that Erwin picked off the streets.

In turn, Erwin takes him under his wing, teaching him everything Levi will need to know to become the best of the best.

And Levi knows it’s not healthy, the way he obeys Erwin’s every order and command like a stupid, pathetic dog. Maybe he _is_ a stupid, pathetic dog after all, blindly crawling at the heels of its master. But Erwin is _master_ , and Levi cannot disobey him.

Sometimes, when Erwin is bored, he makes Levi do things. Whenever Erwin summons Levi to his office and tells him to lock the door after him, Levi knows Erwin is in one of his moods. Sometimes, he makes Levi kneel before his desk for hours on end, until his legs are numb and cramping and his knees are raw against the carpet. Sometimes Erwin just pulls him onto his lap, and they sit like that as Erwin continues with his endless paperwork and reports. Sometimes Erwin makes him strip and orders him to clean his office, or he’ll casually instruct Levi to go without his meals for a day or two.

And when Erwin is angry, usually after he returns from yet another meeting in Sina where he has to listen to the Military Police and the Garrison sitting on their fat asses telling him that the Scouting Legion is a waste of money, Levi knows what to expect; Erwin can be extremely violent and very cruel, when he’s angry.

Erwin’s never injured him too badly before, so they've never aroused any suspicion. He always makes sure that he only ever marks Levi where nobody can see it; Levi’s thighs and torso are a beautiful canvas of fresh and fading bruises and superficial burns. Even when he ties Levi up, the bindings are never tight or rough enough to peel his skin raw. But just once he bound Levi’s wrists and ankles together, gagged him with a wadded up cleaning rag, then beat him up so badly that he fainted. After that he’s been more careful, and Levi doesn’t know if he’s grateful or disappointed.

Levi’s really just a stupid, pathetic dog after all.

“Come in and lock the door,” Erwin says, not bothering to look up from his desk.    

Levi does, shutting the door behind him and sliding the bolt into place. He’s been called from his dinner and he’s _starving_ , but he doesn’t complain. He merely stands at attention, quietly awaiting his orders.

Then: “On your hands and knees.”” Again Erwin doesn’t bother to even look up at him.

Levi obeys.

Erwin takes his time, signing off a few more papers and filing them away neatly before moving away from his desk to stand over him. Levi doesn’t dare look up, focusing all his attention on the carpet below him. How many times has he knelt here in this exact spot, he wonders.

Erwin crouches down low over him, pulls him up so that he’s on his knees now. He has a strip of thin leather in his hands, and he gently undoes the top two buttons of Levi’s shirt, just enough for it to fall away enough to expose his neck. Then he loops the leather around his neck, pulling it snug.

“Is it uncomfortable? Can you breathe?”

Levi tries, sucking in a deep, steady breath despite how his heart is hammering in anticipation. “Yes, Erwin,” Levi says. He has to fight back an urge to address Erwin as  _master._

“Good.” Erwin buckles the collar around him, tucking the loose end through the loop. “There.”

Levi feels utterly owned and humiliated, Erwin’s collar around his neck now, the band of leather a foreign, heavy sensation against his skin. But he doesn’t mind at all, because Erwin _does_ own him, Erwin is master and Levi belongs to him, his body and his life. And then Erwin suddenly hooks a finger under the collar around the back of his neck, and he _pulls_ , and Levi chokes. But Erwin releases him a second later, forcibly pushing down on the scruff of his neck so that Levi’s on his hands and knees again..

Erwin straightens up and moves away for a moment. Levi watches him go to a small table in the corner and pick up a shallow metal bowl from it. Erwin comes back, and places the bowl in front of Levi. It’s full of rice, with a generous helping of stew and vegetables piled over it.

“Eat,” Erwin says. “And be quick about it.” 

Levi clumsily lowers his mouth to the bowl, the humiliation now burning his face and neck red. He gets stew and grains of rice over his nose and cheeks, but he determinedly laps at the food with his tongue, bringing small portions of it up into his mouth, which he quickly swallows without chewing. He has to tilt his face at an angle to get right at the corners of the bowl, licking and sucking, and the metallic tang of the bowl is an unpleasant sensation on his tongue, but he doesn’t give up until he’s finished all of it.

“Good boy,” Erwin says warmly, when Levi finally raises his head up again. He replaces the bowl with a dish of water, but Levi doesn’t need further instructions, quickly bending down and lapping at it until it’s empty.

Erwin comes to wipe tenderly at his face with a warm face towel, and Levi lets him. He closes his eyes, relaxing and enjoying the attention until he’s done.

“If I call you during mealtimes again, this is how you’ll be eating,” Erwin tells him, now helping him to stand up. Levi’s limbs are slightly shaky, so he leans on Erwin for support as he’s pulled to his feet. “Now you can go.”

Levi remembers the collar, still circling his throat and marking him as Erwin’s. Erwin notices his uncertainty, and that’s when he smiles, reaching into his desk drawer to pull out a white fold of cloth. He drapes it around his neck, over the leather collar, deft fingers swiftly looping the ends over each other and finally knotting it neatly.

“It’s called a cravat,” Erwin explains, guiding Levi over to where a mirror in an ornate, gilded frame hangs on the wall. “Doesn’t it look good on you?”

Levi has to admit he likes it.

 

 

"Levi," Mike quietly says to him. "Erwin is a good friend and comrade, but he's not a good man."

Levi snorts. "I know." 

Mike  _used_  to eye him and Erwin with worry, especially whenever a cadet comes looking for Levi, flustered and hastily stammering out that Erwin wants to see Levi in his office  _now._ Now he just looks away and pretends not to notice when it happens.

  

 

But despite everything Erwin does with him, _to_ him, he has never once touched Levi sexually. Even when he orders Levi to strip, he doesn’t look at him, doesn’t touch him that way. It makes Levi wonder if Erwin is simply not interested in him, and the thought makes him oddly disappointed.

He still wears the leather collar under his cravat all the time, even when he leaves the headquarters to go out to the nearby town. It secretly thrills him, knowing that he’s parading around Erwin’s mark of ownership over him, in plain sight. And he imagines Erwin walking with him, his large hand gripped possessively over the back of his neck, or pulling at his collar, tightening it until he’s choking and gasping for breath. He imagines Erwin marking him more permanently, branding his name above his collarbone so that Levi will have to be extra careful about keeping it hidden, or maybe even taking a small knife to him and crudely scratching out _Erwin_ on the skin of his inner thigh, over and over again until it leaves a scar of Erwin’s name.

Levi craves it, the power Erwin has over him. He wants to give, to _submit_ to him, because with Erwin, it’s the first time Levi has ever felt this safe or wanted. So he tries even harder than before, kills more titans whenever they go out on expeditions, fights harder and longer than anyone else, even when all his limbs are aching in protest, earns himself the title of humanity’s strongest soldier because of Erwin, _for_ Erwin.

And when they return to their barracks, after they’ve finished stabling the horses and unloading the supply carts, after they mourn their lost soldiers and comfort the remaining living men, Levi goes with Erwin to his office to help him write out the letters to the fallen men’s families. _It is with great sorrow and regret that your son has lost his life while fighting for humanity,_ and Levi always wonders what will happen when it’s his turn to die. Who will Erwin write to? Because he has no family, nobody outside of the Scouting Legion who cares for him, only Hanji and Mike and his squad. He wonders if Erwin will care when he’s gone.

And when they’re done with the letters and reports, Levi lets Erwin take it out on him, lets Erwin slap him around or burn him with the leftover molten wax from sealing their letters, because Erwin needs it. And because Levi needs the pain, almost begs for Erwin to hurt him.

Levi likes to goad him, tease him and insult him, in the hopes that Erwin will finally snap and just _take_ him right there and then, but Erwin never does. The only thing he earns from his attempts is a flash of a warning glare that promises Levi will pay for it dearly later, and Erwin does make good on his promises.

But the only thing Erwin will never do is to touch Levi _that_ way.

The only time Levi ever feels Erwin’s bare skin on his is when Erwin hits him, or when he pets him on the head, or when he pulls at the collar Levi still wears even now, until he chokes. Even when he’s kneeling naked in front of Erwin, nipples pebbled and pert in the cold air, his cock hot and heavy between his legs, Levi will deliberately spread his thighs as wide as possible, an open invitation for Erwin to take him, to _violate_ him any way he wants.

But he never does. Even when Erwin crouches down before him to clamp heated wooden clothes pegs onto his nipples, he’s careful that his hand doesn’t brush against Levi’s bare chest. When Levi dares to beg, Erwin merely makes him prepare and stretch himself, then instructs Levi to hold his cheeks apart as Erwin slowly twists an oiled candlestick into him, never once touching him directly.

And when Erwin’s finally satisfied and Levi is quietly whimpering in pain and pleasure, reduced to a pathetic, humiliated mess on the floor, Erwin dismisses him with only a cursory glance to be sure that Levi isn’t injured too badly.

And then Levi will quickly return to his room, lock himself in and head right for the bathroom to touch himself, attempt to relieve some of the desperate need and lust that courses through his blood with every ache of his bruised body. His own hand on his cock never feels enough, so he imagines it to be Erwin instead, brutally pulling and squeezing and jerking him off, but it’s never enough.

Levi wants to confront Erwin, wants to demand answers, wants to _demand_ that Erwin fuck him. But their relationship doesn’t work that way; Levi will just give up all he has and Erwin will take and take until Levi is nothing but an empty, desperate shell of his former self.  

  

 

Levi used to hate Erwin. Now he isn’t entirely sure anymore.

Levi thinks that maybe, just maybe he’s fallen in love with him.

 

 

 

And Erwin, Erwin knows.

He sees it in the flash of resentment that crosses Levi’s face for the briefest second before he schools his expression back into his usual stoic, cold mask, moments when Levi just stops right in his tracks and stares back at him with wide eyes that betray his fear. Erwin _knows_ Levi is still afraid of him, but he also sees how Levi purses his lips into a worried frown when he comes to tell Erwin that he’s working too hard, when he willingly comes to stand by Erwin, so close that their arms are almost touching. And when Erwin gestures to him to come closer, Levi will obey, leaning and relaxing into his side like he truly finds Erwin a comfort.

He wants to push him away, wants to hurt him and revel in his pain, but he also wants to pull him close and hug him tight, to tenderly love him and keep him safe and happy. But he doesn’t, and he doesn’t know if he’s hesitating because he’s afraid, or if he simply doesn’t want to. So he continues as he always has, always wondering if one day he’ll ever go too far and then Levi will leave him. Maybe it’ll be good for the _both_ of them, if Levi just… leaves.

But Levi never does. No matter what Erwin does to him, Levi never leaves.

And so they will continue to destroy each other, two broken men in a cruel world.  

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand there was supposed to be actual porn in this, but I gave up.


End file.
